I am so glad that I am a child of God. Because He is my Father He is always teaching me something. Some lessons are harder than others. We have been working on forgiveness for a long time….we still are…
“And whenever you stand praying, if you have anything against anyone, forgive him, that your Father in heaven may also forgive you your trespasses.” Mark 11:25
I have a family member that I have had bad experiences with in the past. I have had the desire to forgive them for a long time but I was stuck. I have prayed diligently about this because I do care for them and it does not build my family up, including them, or even me, to hold onto my anger. I have confessed to Jesus my feelings and fears and my desire for a long time.
Yesterday I asked Jesus why I couldn’t forgive this person.
This morning I woke up in tears. I was crying because I had had a powerful dream filled with feelings that were so big and loud and my favorite people. I woke up having to deal with these feelings because they bad been ignored and stuffed inside me. You know that place we all create that serves as our arsenal where we can use these powerful things that happened long ago to avenge us today? It leaked…when the tears were gone and I was quiet all I could say to my wife, who was hugging me and trying to figure out why I was sobbing, was, “I have made [them] bear more than they deserved.”
When I confessed this before God, I felt a level of peace and love I have not felt for a long time; and also the ability to communicate with my family that is usually very hit and miss for me. I may have a little more work, but God has been faithful to carry me through as far as I can handle to honor my request. I was able to honestly pray for blessings and peace and healing for all my family this morning; and not just because that is what “good Christians” do.
Thank You so much Jesus! Thank You for a deeper knowledge of faith and salvation. Thank You that You never stop working in and for those who love You!