Unintentionally you shot me
with your legal use of force
My heart is full of bullet holes
from the war zone you accidentally created
where sneak attacks tore us apart

~

The palace you worked hard to provide was sparkly
Because you taught me to run directly into firestorms
for years I fought to defend it
But you didn’t know about the terrorists after my heart and mind
Your Fast Assessment Strike Tool didn’t work in my benefit

~

My humanity was set aside while you saved yourself
Something like PTSD sucks the life out of me when I see you
The armed conflict is still happening
even though the war crimes were committed years ago
I don’t hate you and I miss you
but I am holding the wrong ammunition for your battle plan

~

I don’t need judgement or criticism wrapped in a hug
I don’t need people who just want what I have
because I only have love to give
I am unable to engage in euphemisms
and your moral outrage is not my fight

~

I have made choices you can’t understand
because I have orders you can’t see
In the mire I live in right now light is a precious commodity
I am shaken by the wars outside of me
but the glimmer of hope I depend on will continue to lead me on

~

I can’t follow your objectives while my old wounds fester
I don’t know how to let them go so I must let them heal
and my treatments take too long for you
As much as I want to choose you
I have made myself my own secret mission

~

I will contact you when the casualties have been honored

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