I feel like my whole life I have been fighting. Fighting to be heard. Fighting to be seen. Fighting with Veda and her cohorts. I thought I was fighting for me, but I wasn’t.
My true sincere self was fighting to be maintain a self that wasn’t meant for me.
My friend, Jamie, always talks about fighting for herself. From what I can see it is a process, that if you didn’t learn growing up, might be REALLY hard to learn as an adult when you no longer have a choice. I am there.
Jamie leant Karen a book, called “Shaken” by Tim Tebow…I grabbed it one day so I would have something to read while sitting at the laundromat. I haven’t made it all the way through, but it has already made in impact on me.
Who I am has everything to do with Whose I am…page 28
In the book Tebow talks about his friend Chelsie and how she affected his life by showing her strength while fighting for her life. Even though her cancer eventually overtook her, she didn’t lose because she fought with everything she had before she went home to Jesus. She was a fighter.
With all the fighting I have done in my life, I think I was always fighting against someone or something. But I am starting to understand that the fight I am supposed to to fight is for me and not against anyone. In the world I know people are so anxious and ready for a rally that we don’t understand that by attacking each other we are only tearing our world apart…and when I set a boundary it has nothing to do with anyone but me, unless you want it to.
How else does, “Be still and know that I am God,” Psalm 46:10 and, “For we live by faith, and not by sight,” 2 Corinthians 5:7 work if we are are not being still and we are using our human senses to tell us what our identity is? How can I be still so that I can wait on the Lord if I am screaming and going off half-cocked when I am accused by others? How can I experience a life of miracles if I am only focusing on the negative and sad things that other people choose to do or even what nature creates? I can’t.
Whether I like it or not, I am not in control of my surroundings or even my body. I can’t make anyone understand what I am saying or requesting unless they want to. I can’t even control what my body does. I live in a body that hurts. On the same day I can experience radiating joint pain, stinging skin, head and jaw pain, swelling, twitching…and peace. I must exercise to be able to keep moving, yet that same exercise can cause inflammation. I must eat to fuel my run, but nightshades, beef, dairy and too many glutens can really slow my roll…and even cause some other really unpleasant experiences.
I am a hot mess…to borrow a quote from Jamie…There are many things I can’t change right now, or at all…
BUT….THERE ARE MANY MIRACLES THAT HAPPEN EVERY DAY!
In all the things that matter I am rich because I am a child of God. This is how to be a fighter.
I sometimes have to remind myself about this any number of times a day…or have Karen, Xavier or Jamie remind me because I can’t do it by myself, but that too is a blessing, because my compassionate Holy Father knew I couldn’t float these seas alone and He made sure I had some great partners along the way.
Feel free to leave your comments below!
My name is Summer. That is how you can call me. I hope that I am a blessing to you. I am not perfect. I will fall again. But I am forgiven.
Do you know Jesus? Do want the Holy Spirit to fill you and give you understanding and salvation? Ask Him. Want someone to pray with you? Contact me.
If you would like to know Jesus as your friend, but want to make this amazing commitment by yourself please pray something like this:
Thank you Jesus that You are the Son of God, the God that created heaven and earth. Thank you Jesus that You came to earth in the form of a man so that You would be able to empathize with my humanity. Thank You that You did this in order to fulfill the promises You made at the foundation of the world.
I realize that I am a sinner and do things that hurt myself and keep myself away from you. Thank You that You died for my sins so that You could defeat death and bring me into Your life. Please forgive me.
I ask You to be Lord of my life. I ask you to heal my hurts and show me what my new life, empowered by You looks like. Thank You for Your mercy.
The Lord is with you always.