Codependent No More Chapter 15 & 16 Notes | Clemenson Enterprises, LLC

Chapter 15 “Yes You Can Think”

For God hath no given us the spirit of fear, but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind.
2 Timothy 1:17

Many codependents do not trust our minds and indecision can make the smallest choices frustrating – so big choices like what to do with our lives or who to live with or how to solve our problems can be overwhelming.

We must think, figure things out, decide what we need and want and decide how to solve our own problems.

Our ability to think may be clouded by lies we have believed, told to us or by ourselves (denial), chaos, stress, low self-esteem and repressed emotions.

Over-reacting can be spurred by wrongly thinking we must hurry or we must be perfect and by worrying about what others think.

“Should’s,” self-deprecating thoughts, low self-esteem and self-hatred can also make it hard to make decisions.

Not listening to what we want and need or telling ourselves what we want is wrong stops us from seeing informational tools to make choices and decisions.

Things to help us gain mental confidence:

  • Trust our minds to peace – get quiet before you make a decision. Maybe now is not the time to make a decision.
  • Ask God to help you think
  • Quit abusing your mind – worry and obsessing is mental abuse – stop it
  • Feed your mind – research choices
  • Feed your mind healthy thoughts – read and think positive thoughts
  • Stretch your mind – learn, read, take a class
  • Stop saying negative things about your mind – say positive things and they will come true
  • Use your mind – create, form opinions, make decisions (also let others use their mind)

I make my own decision. Often I research and consult with God, Karen and Jamie. When I don’t trust myself I usually talk to Karen, but I make my own choices and I am happy about that. In the past family members and past relationships have manipulated me to influence my choices. Often I felt that I couldn’t make my own choices or make new choices.

Chapter 16 “Set Your Own Goals”

codependentnomorebymelodybeattieLearning How to Set Goals

  • Turn everything into a goal
    • Make solving a problem or making a decision into a goal
    • Make getting what you want or need into a goal
  • Omit the shoulds
  • Don’t limit yourself
  • Write goals on paper
  • Commit written goals to God
  • Let go – don’t obsess or worry
  • Do what you can, one day at a time
    • Follow your gut or desire
  • Set goals regularly and as needed
  • Check off reached goals
  • Celebrate and thank God for reached goals
  • Be patient

Feel free to leave your comments below!

My name is Summer. That is how you can call me. I hope that I am a blessing to you. I am not perfect. I will fall again. But I am forgiven.

Do you know Jesus? Do want the Holy Spirit to fill you and give you understanding and salvation? Ask Him. Want someone to pray with you? Contact me.

If you would like to know Jesus as your friend, but want to make this amazing commitment by yourself please pray something like this:

Thank you Jesus that You are the Son of God, the God that created heaven and earth. Thank you Jesus that You came to earth in the form of a man so that You would be able to empathize with my humanity. Thank You that You did this in order to fulfill the promises You made at the foundation of the world.

I realize that I am a sinner and do things that hurt myself and keep myself away from you. Thank You that You died for my sins so that You could defeat death and bring me into Your life. Please forgive me.

I ask You to be Lord of my life. I ask you to heal my hurts and show me what my new life, empowered by You looks like. Thank You for Your mercy.


The Lord is with you always.

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